


breathe in and get a bit higher

by pessimisticidealist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Harry Potter Next Generation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21898150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pessimisticidealist/pseuds/pessimisticidealist
Summary: you'll never know what hit you, when i get to you. // lily luna potter reconnects with an old acquaintance.
Relationships: Lily Luna Potter/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	breathe in and get a bit higher

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfiction in eons, and i am still a bit insecure about posting it here - but i'm really glad i could finally do it! most of my other nextgen stories (if and when i get around to writing them) will be set in the same universe, so, as far as this story goes, for now - this is set in 2030, when lily has been out of hogwarts for four years, and derek is a year older than her. they were both gryffindors.
> 
> i am also not considering the events of cursed child (or most of the extraneous pottermore information) as canon, and therefore any details matching those are purely coincidental.
> 
> lyrics in the title and summary come from 'i want you' by savage garden.
> 
> thank you a million times to my old friends from the next-gen fanatics forum on ffn who i recently reconnected with, and who inspired me to begin writing in the hp universe again - pearl (@ginnyweasleys), ellie (@with_the_monsters), becca (aebbeswriting on tumblr), jane (magdalenes on tumblr) and madeline (@todxrxki). mad also beta-read this fic for me, so thank you again to her.

"Hey, Jesus boy."

Derek looks over at the person the voice is coming from, and nearly forgets to breathe. "Potter. What the fuck?"

Lily Potter looks so much better than she ever had in school. Calling her his friend would be charitable - at best, they’d had occasional chats in the common room... but he never expected to see her here, like this. Lily was never particularly tomboyish nor girly; now, she's a knockout. He finally manages to turn his eyes to her properly, and is hit with the full force of her appearance.

When she speaks next, he finds it hard to tear his eyes away from her lips. They have some sort of glossy pink lipstick on them, one he has never seen either of his sisters wear, and well... Lily is decidedly not his sister or even close to being like one to him. " _Et tu_ , Fernandes? Are you surprised by me being here, or how I look, or that I called you Jesus boy? Because let me tell you, all of us girls from the batch of 2026 called you Jesus boy. That tank top you wore all the time did nothing to hide your rosary." She grins and takes a seat on the barstool next to him. "C'mon, let's catch up. I haven't seen another wizard in ages. Hey, I want a strawberry daiquiri, order me one."

He says nothing to that, besides quirking an eyebrow over the rim of the beer glass he's drinking from and beckoning the bartender over. He's mildly curious as to why she hasn't been in the wizarding world, but not enough to ask; Mickey asks enough invasive questions for both of them. A vague memory of the Potters divorcing a year or so after he left Hogwarts floats into his head - but he's ashamed to admit, he never paid much attention to the news. He'd had his own demons to deal with - truthfully, he still does. He's just escaped from them for the time being.

"I’ve been at university," she says, crossing one leg over the other. Her jeans are tight, but not extremely revealing; still, Derek feels his mouth go dry. Jesus, why is this so weird? Perhaps he'd assumed Lily Luna Potter was off limits, considering the gaggle of overprotective older siblings that frequently made proclamations about who was and wasn't allowed near her. Yeah, he decides, that's probably it, because he cannot remember ever seeing her as attractive in school. Before he can ask her what she's doing, or why she went to university, she continues. "See, I don't particularly like botany, no offence to Prof Longbottom and all that. But I just needed to be _away_. Fucking... Fernandes, do you ever feel like that?"

 _Do I ever? More like do I ever not feel that way._ "More than you know, Potter." He hands her her drink, which has just appeared (metaphorically speaking; they _are_ in Muggle England) to his left. "You wanna talk about it?"

“Do I need to?” Lily asks, proceeding to take a sip of her daiquiri. A red sheen coats her lips now, and Derek honestly finds it hard to focus on what she’s saying. “I’m sure you’ve been following the news. And then you have your lawyer sister too – she probably keeps track of high-profile cases. And you can’t get much more high-profile than Harry Fucking Potter, innit?”

“Di and I don’t talk about her work,” Derek says shortly. He wonders why he even still calls Sonal _Didi_ – it’s supposed to be an honorific, and he doesn’t feel much like honouring her right now. His anger towards her has waned since his teenage years, certainly, but it hasn’t faded completely. “We don’t really talk much at all. I do remember hearing something about your parents a few years ago, but I don’t remember for certain.” Lily’s mention of his sister has rather soured him on her, at least for the time being, and he takes another sip of his beer as he tries to hide his sullen face.

Lily raises her eyebrows at this. “Well, then I guess I’m lucky that I met you today, and not some other gossip-hungry twat from school.” She seems to have failed to notice Derek’s change in demeanour – either that or she’s deliberately ignoring it, he’s not sure which. “You mind if I overshare a bit? It’ll be good to talk to someone who has some context of the situation.”

Derek almost laughs. “Don’t you have like twenty-five cousins, Potter? I’m sure they all have more context than I would.” The beer tastes weirdly acidic in his mouth; he’s not sure why. _God, I need some chakna._ He wonders what people eat with cocktails, but decides it’s not worth worrying about, so he orders two bowls of peanuts for himself and Lily.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, less out of genuine concern and more because he’s dealt with way too many drunk friends before. Lord knows he doesn’t want to be spotted with an intoxicated Lily Potter. The gossip rags were already so gung-ho about her disappearance from Wizarding society; another glimpse of her would certainly raise eyebrows, especially with someone like him. _Wizards can pontificate all they want about how they don’t see colour, but we’re all dirty Pakis to them, too._

Lily shakes her head. “I can handle my liquor, don’t worry, Fernandes. I’m not planning on having any more than this.” He can sense she’s stalling on answering his earlier question, and doesn’t say anything, until she sighs and relents. “I don’t want to talk to anyone related to me. I have two siblings, nine cousins and a bunch of other people who may as well be my cousins. So _that_ severely limits my options.”

 _Ah, makes sense now._ She doesn’t want to face that Weasley brood, and at the same time can’t talk about this to her Muggle friends either. “You guys are weirdly incestuous,” slips out of his mouth before he can stop it. He knows he should not be quite as weirded out as he is by the news of Teddy Lupin and Dominique Weasley being spotted together, but… Teddy practically grew up with the Weasley clan! How does seeing someone in diapers not turn you off them forever? He looks up at Lily to gauge her reaction, hoping she doesn’t expect an apology, because he isn’t about to give her one.

To his surprise, she laughs sardonically. “Yes, we are.” She pauses again at this juncture, and shoves a few peanuts into her mouth. Derek isn’t sure if this is for dramatic effect or not, then a minute later, she continues. “I feel bad for Ted, and even Lor and Ly to an extent. At least two of us girls were crushing on him at any given time. No wonder he and Vic are on the outs now.”

Ah, so she’s seen the news too. Derek makes a mental note to catch up on Weasley Family Scandals and Shenanigans when he gets time. Maybe Mickey can help him with that when she gets back; he’s sure she’s on good terms with at least seven Weasley cousins. “Did you ever?” he asks. He can tell this still isn’t what she really wants to talk about, but whatever. He’s not her therapist, he’s just there to shoot the breeze with her.

Lily nearly chokes on her drink, and Derek instantly begins to thump her on her back. (He can’t believe this is the first time today – well, probably the first time ever – that he’s actually touched her, and it had to happen like _this_.) “ _God_ no,” she finally manages to say, spluttering and coughing as she comes back to normal. “It’s Teddy. Teddy’s like my brother! He was like, nine when I was born? Eight? I don’t know. He’s been hanging around us since forever. Why would I be interested in _him_?”

“Why’s Dominique, then?” Derek asks. Victoire’s younger sister is the same age as his older sister, a rather shy ex-Hufflepuff who seems to fade into the background when compared to her cousins, and seems to be happy that way. He can only wonder how her sudden liaison with Teddy will affect her and the rest of the family.

“Mate, how would I know?” Lily fires back at him. “I haven’t spoken to any of them in years, remember? Well – I speak to James and Al, of course,” she adds, almost as an afterthought, and Derek feels a sudden pang of guilt for not having spoken to his own twin sister ever since she ran off to Hogwarts to assist Professor Atkinson. (Still, it’s her own fault for leaving her phone and laptop and everything behind and expecting him to write owls to her. He’s not going to haul his arse down to the post office just to tell her he misses her; she knows that already.)

“It’s probably not even a thing. The gossip tabloids just want dirt on us all the time. Teddy and Dom have always been good friends, and he’s probably not been seeing anyone else for a while. Hence.” She gestures in what he thinks is meant to be an exaggerated shrug, but ends up looking more like a spell-casting motion.

Derek wonders if he should try bringing the topic back to what she seemed to want to talk about. “So you don’t go home these days?” he asks, trying not to eye the neckline of her top, which has slipped a bit from all her arm movements. He abruptly realises he hasn’t looked her in the eye since she first showed up, and wonders if she’s noticed. _Who am I kidding? She probably has._

She shakes her head. “Assuming you don’t either, you can guess why I don’t. What _do_ you do these days anyway?”

 _She’s still stalling, it seems._ Derek shrugs. “Yeah, I don’t. I live with Di. And I work on a reserve for Hippogriffs.” They are thankfully not endangered yet, but might come close soon. Besides, they’re more dangerous than the Ministry had given them credit for before, which was why the reserves were created. He enjoys his job - mostly because it takes him away from human interaction for most of the day. He’s not an introvert at heart like his sisters, but lately, he just cannot _stand_ humans.

“Thought you said you guys didn’t talk,” Lily says to that, her eyes widening. 

“We don’t talk,” he agrees, his lips almost curling into a smile. It must seem so weird to her, how he lives with Sonal and yet avoids speaking to her. Still, it’s not exactly hard for him; they both work long hours, and leave and return to the house at different times. And… “She stays at Abhay’s half the time anyway.” The news of his elder sister’s engagement to Abhay Patil two years ago is the only time any of the Bhatia-Fernandes siblings have ever touched the headlines, and that’s hardly an achievement - still, of course it had to be Sonal who made the papers first, among the three of them.

He’s more surprised that she doesn’t ask him more about the Hippogriff part, actually - but then he remembers she has an uncle who tames dragons. And well - Hippogriffs are basically to dragons what Flobberworms are to Hippogriffs.

“I’ve seen that particular bit of news,” Lily says, almost certainly referring to Sonal and Abhay, and not the fact that Derek works with Hippogriffs. “I did go off the papers, but not social media, and there are some manic people who post pictures of them when they’re doing basically anything but lawyer and court stuff.”

Abhay is a clerk to the Head Judge at the Wizengamot, and a good seven years older than Derek. What the reporters had been gung-ho about was the fact that he was the son of a single mother, and the possibility that Sonal was pregnant too, and he just didn’t want her to suffer the same fate as his mum. Derek had nearly wanted to punch someone’s lights out for that. Whether he likes his elder sister or not, he respects her tremendously, and more than that - he _knows_ her. Sonal is too put-together to even _get_ pregnant without planning everything down to the last detail and too ambitious to do it at 24. “People really need to get some goddamn hobbies,” he says finally. “They’re the most boring couple you could ever think of. I don’t even know what joy people get out of staring at photos of them eating butter chicken at the same restaurant every Friday.”

Lily doesn’t answer for a little while, draining the last of her drink. When she finally speaks again, she appears a little more defeated. “Now you see why I left?”

He does. He’d been so inflamed about _one_ news item, about his _sister_ \- and Lily must have had to deal with gossip about her and her family and friends from the day she could read. He doesn’t really know what to say now; he’s never been the best at offering words of sympathy or comfort. So instead he says, “Want to get out of here?” He’s thinking of the bottle of Old Monk he’s stashed in his closet from his last visit to India, as well as the hamper of Christmas snacks Mamma and Dadda sent over a few days ago. “I’ll ask my sister if she’s coming home tonight, and if she isn’t we can stop there for a while.”

Honestly, he’s not entirely sure whether he’s propositioning her or not. Yes, she is hot, almost mind-scramblingly so, and yes, he would not complain at all if something does end up happening between them. But right now, like her, he’s just happy to see another witch not related to himself - someone he can unwind with. Hardly anyone else he knows from school has been free to meet with him, and he doesn’t think he’s yet ready to go back and be with his parents. So quite inadvertently, Lily Potter has been a blessing to him.

On hearing his words, the aforementioned blessing abruptly bursts out laughing. “I knew it, I knew it!” He doesn’t know where she’s going with this, but - “I knew you were a fuckboy.”

“Am not,” he says almost reflexively. Just because his sisters are practically virginal compared to him, doesn’t mean he’s a _fuck_ boy. “It’s not my fault you and your friends gossiped about me enough to believe that tale.”

Still, her proclamation of him supposedly being a fuckboy doesn’t seem to do anything to deter her. She hops down from the barstool. “Go on, I’ll join you outside in a sec.”

* * *

An hour later, they’re sitting on his bed, a broad crystalline bottle of rum and a pack of blue-labelled Marlboros lying between them. Lily takes a swig from her tiny paper cup and gags.

“This tastes like bloody _turpentine_ , dude. This is what you Indians swear by?” Still, he notices she doesn’t let go of her cup, and continues to take small sips from it. _Just like all of us our first time._

“Old Monk is what _broke twentysomething_ Indians swear by,” he corrects her. “It’s an acquired taste, but I can get you some Coke if you want.” It’s purely a perfunctory statement; they both know that, because they’re both too comfortable to move right now, and because there _is_ no Coke in the house. With the windows shut and Derek’s duvet bunched up on his bed, the room feels almost cozy. When she shakes her head, he continues, “Wait, I’ll get you some _chakna_.” The Hindi word slips out before he can convert it in his head, but he’s so used to calling it that that he’s even got his friends doing it. There really is no English equivalent… maybe _munchies_ , but that’s for weed, not alcohol.

“Chakna?” Lily’s much more pronounced British accent sounds both funny and adorable saying the word, and Derek is glad the room is dimly lit, so he can hide his smile.

“Just something to eat.” He leaves the room before she can see his face growing hot, and tries to get his head clear as he arranges the contents of the Christmas hamper on a plate. Lily Potter… she’s certainly something, isn’t she? He’s noticed that she still hasn’t really shared what’s bothering her, and he can tell she wants to. So no matter how much he wants her - and make no mistake, he does; the sight of her snuggled up in his bed is doing funny things to him - he’s not going to push her into anything before they speak at least a bit more.

“So, Potter,” he says, returning to the room and perching on the edge of the bed. Even though it’s cold, he has a sudden urge to take his shirt off; it won’t be too indecent, he thinks, since he’s still wearing a tank top underneath it. Still, he quashes this urge, and sets the plate down between him and Lily. “You got hot.”

“And _you_ got to the point, Fernandes,” Lily says, a wry half-smile on her face. “I was born hot. You, however, have never been this nice.” She picks up a pinkish-brown square from the plate and studies it curiously. “This looks like Turkish delight.”

“I have always been nice,” he shoots back. This is a lie. She knows it is. He spent his last two or three years in school glowering at most people and sleeping with the ones he didn’t glower at. “It’s guava cheese. It isn’t actually cheese. Try it.”

“It’s nice,” Lily acknowledges after she’s chewed on it for a while. “You know who wasn’t nice? You. God, imagine me telling my sixth-year self that one day, notorious Bad Boy Derek Fernandes would be bringing me sweets while I sat on his bed.”

This makes her sound like a princess he’s waiting on, and a laugh escapes his throat. “Imagine _me_ telling my sixteen-year-old self that the little Potter girl would get hot.”

“Again, you sound way too surprised about that,” Lily says. “I am _insulted,_ Fernandes, truly wounded. You’re telling me I haven’t been a one-hundred-percent knockout since our school days?”

“You were a knockout, Potter,” Derek says, “in the sense that if a boy even tried to look at you, they’d be _knocked out._ ” Quite pleased at his dad-joke, he allows himself to crack a grin for the first time since meeting Lily today. _This is bad for my brand; no one knows I make dad jokes. It’s probably the Old Monk talking._

An irritated sigh escapes her at this, as she grumpily takes larger swigs of the rum from her cup. “I think I’m starting to like this,” she says, before continuing, “My brothers don’t own my body, or mind, or life, or virginity, or anything really. The only reason I still talk to them is that I made that very clear, and they understand it now. And honestly, I _don’t_ talk to most of my cousins because of this stupid babying thing they do. You’d think they’d have given it up when I came of age, but _no_.”

“That’s not the only reason, though, is it?” Derek asks her, finally picking up his own empty cup and pouring himself another peg. _Now we’re getting somewhere._ He wonders if she’ll take the bait, or will somehow manoeuver the subject so she doesn’t have to address it again.

“‘Course not,” Lily says tonelessly, and to his surprise, she actually finally says it. “My parents… are being… I don’t know. Weird. They have been since the last four years.”

“They got divorced, right?” he asks, finally feeling confident enough to do so. It’s weird - he’ll say all manner of rude things to his parents without thinking, but with Lily, he’s being way too cautious. _Ugh, maybe Di’s overthinking is rubbing off on me. I need to move out._

“That’s old news,” Lily says, and stretches out both her legs under his crumpled duvet. She’s oriented herself so they’re sitting almost shoulder to shoulder now, and he feels her skin graze his from time to time. It’s all he can do to not jerk away. “They’re dating again now.”

“They what now?” Derek can almost hear his dad saying _Ey, what men, why do these white buggers treat marriage like a bloody game to play?_ He thinks he should be somewhat more respectful than that and settles for just asking, “If they’re dating now, why did they get divorced at all?”

Lily doesn’t answer him for a very long time, instead settling for draining her cup, sampling a bit of each snack on the plate and filling up the cup again. Finally, she says, “You think I know?” She’s just finished the bottle of rum, and Derek is honestly surprised. She’s probably had more than him - and this after claiming to hate it. “There’s a reason I ran away to the Muggle world. I didn’t want to know why, I still don’t, and I especially don’t want to know why they’re back together. _I don’t care._ ”

 _You do._ It’s almost depressing how much of himself Derek sees in Lily Luna Potter when she says this. Someone who didn’t care wouldn’t run away, someone who didn’t care wouldn’t explode, and someone who didn’t care wouldn’t feel the need to keep stating that they didn’t. He doesn’t respond to her, watching as she drinks the last of the rum in her cup, and then saying, “Feel like a smoke? I’ll have to open the window, so…” He really wants an Ice Burst, especially since she’s finished most of his alcohol - but it’s too stuffy inside to just light up a cigarette. When she nods, he draws aside the curtain and opens the window, bringing his ashtray onto the bed, before lighting up two cigarettes from the blue box and handing one to her. He doesn’t know if she’s a smoker or not, but luckily, IB is good for people who don’t smoke much as well.

Lily picks up the cigarette from his fingers, and takes a drag. “Well, I guess I ruined the mood. And here I thought you brought me here to hook up. _Told_ you you’ve got nicer.” She looks at him out of the corner of her eye, a small smile playing on her lips again. Derek supposes that’s his cue to stop asking questions about what she just told him - or indeed, to even acknowledge that she’d told him anything.

“Who says I _didn’t_ bring you here to hook up?” he says. He still isn’t _entirely_ sure where this is going, and he doesn’t want to scare or disgust her enough to drive her away. Still… _I may as well do it now_. He hands her his cigarette for a second while he pulls his T-shirt off his head, revealing the black tank top underneath.

Lily lets out what Derek can only accurately describe as a squeak of delight. “Tank top!” She steals a glance at his neck, where his old black rosary is partially visible tucked into the top. “So you _are_ still the Jesus boy I knew and loved!” She seems to take this as a cue to remove her own jacket, and lets it fall to the floor before leaning back against him. Their bare shoulders are touching now, and it’s strange, but suddenly, Derek doesn’t feel the cold at all. Trying to tear his focus away from the feeling of her skin on his, he begins to take long drags on his cigarette, until he realises he’s down to the filter. _God damn it._ He drops it in the ashtray, praying that he doesn’t look too uncomfortable.

By this point, Lily seems to have finished her cigarette too. She doesn’t look nearly as uneasy as he feels, and he wonders what his next move should be, until she completely derails his train of thought by kissing him.

“Great,” he breathes out, or maybe he just thinks it, he’s not sure, and then she’s on top of him, facing him, in his lap. He’s sure she’s been out of her house for a while now - but somehow, she still smells like strawberries. Maybe it’s her shampoo. He breaks apart from her for a second, and now they’re finally looking each other in the eye. It’s weird, but while part of him wants to take her right now, without waiting for anything or anyone, another part is telling him it isn’t a good idea to do that. “Hey, Lily,” he says, his voice almost a whisper. He hasn’t ever called her that before. “Are you sure…”

Her only response to this is to kiss him again, deeper, harder, and while he’s recovering from this second assault on his senses, she says, “Are you really going to pass _this_ up? I expected better from you of all people.”

 _Guess not_ , he thinks, clasping his hands around her waist and flipping her around so he’s on top of her. “Ma’am, your expectations were not unfounded.” He takes a minute to look at her face, really look at it. All signs of distress from earlier are gone, and her lips are slightly parted as she stares up at him. This time, he’s the one to initiate the kiss, liking how it feels to be in control of her. He anticipates that they’re going to constantly be fighting for control… and he loves it. He moves his lips down to her jawline, and then her neck, nipping at it softly, and she lets out a small noise. _Oh god, if she keeps this up, I won’t be able to control myself for much longer._

She wriggles away from him, giggling, and he wonders why, until… “ _Fuckboy._ ” She stabs a finger into his (unfortunately still clothed) chest, and it hurts more than he expected it to, literally.

“Yes, I am a fuckboy. You got me,” he says, pinning her arms under his. “I am _a boy who fucks_. And now you have proof.” _Another dad joke, ugh._ Lily better not tell people about this.

Lily shakes her head, looking almost disappointed. “Derek.”

“ _What._ ”

“Please shut up and get on with it.”

* * *

The room has become at least five degrees warmer since they came in - or at least, that’s what it feels like. There’s a strange lightness in the air instead of the awkwardness and tension Derek usually anticipates after sex. Lily’s in the shower, and there was no invitation to join her - so he’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, wearing just his boxers, and staring at the bathroom door, slightly spaced-out. 

He’s surprised how clear his head is. It’s not been very long since he’s been with someone, but it has been a while since it’s given him the sort of feeling that he’s swimming in right now. Contrary to Lily’s constant claims, he is _not_ a fuckboy; he’s grown up with enough admirable women in his life to know never to manipulate one into his bed. He just… does not have as many reservations around sex as his sisters do. Sonal has had either zero or one serious boyfriends before Abhay and is not the type to have a non-serious boyfriend; Mickey is rather more casual with whom she dates, but he knows she still takes a long time to trust someone enough to be physical with them. He doesn’t exactly throw himself at women, nor does he go home with just anyone, but he has certainly had more romantic and sexual partners than both of them.

Lately, though, he hasn’t really had the chance to date many people - and those he has, have either fizzled out naturally, or been cut off when he wasn’t able to give them time. He’s not sure whether he _couldn’t_ give them time, really, or just didn’t want to, and whether there’s a difference. At least since he was sixteen, he’s had a constant buzzing in his head, an unrest that’s led him to disrupt family gatherings in India, to make his mother cry, to seek out anyone who could silence it, even for a little while. The best he’s ever been able to do is to push it to the back of his mind, where it lurks even as he knows it shouldn’t. But right now - right now, he actually doesn’t feel it at all. He wonders if that’s actually a credit to Lily, or it’s just been a good evening, where somehow, everything he’s eaten, drunk and done over the last few hours has culminated to leave him feeling this light.

“Hi,” Lily says suddenly, and he’s jolted out of the slight trance he’d fallen into. “You want to go in now?” She somehow looks younger than she did just a while ago, and while some of that is because she’s washed off her makeup, a lot of it is because she, too, seems to look a little more at ease now. Her dark red hair falls in damp waves over her face, and she’s wearing a genuinely sweet smile, rather than the smirks and wry glances they’ve shared over the evening together.

He shakes his head. “I’ll go once you leave, I guess. You must have to get back to… wherever, I think it’s eleven already?” He feels a bit guilty for not asking her more about her university, or what exactly she’s doing there. “Where, exactly?”

“Newcastle,” she says. “Yes, I should get going. I’d rather leave before you get so attached to me that everyone else pales in comparison.”

“Or you could stay back here,” Derek says without thinking. This isn’t an invitation he often extends to people, mostly because there isn’t really a spare room, and before Mickey left, she was the one occupying the couch on many days. Besides - not to imply Lily’s anything _special_ to him, but he likes how he’s feeling right now. He still doesn’t know whether she’s the cause - but there is a chance that if she leaves, the bubble will be shattered, and his head will be filled with noise again. “Call me selfish, but I want you to stay a bit longer. We haven’t even really spoken properly.” He’s feeling a warmth towards her that even he can’t explain; it’s probably the afterglow of sex, but whatever it is, he’s almost sure it’ll be gone once she is.

“That’s true,” Lily says, “but I didn’t think you’d be interested in _talking_. I suppose you’ll never stop being full of surprises, huh?” Her voice has regained its confident edge, and she puts the towel aside lightly.

“Potter,” Derek protests. “How many times do I have to tell you…”

“That you’re not a fuckboy? Until I start believing it.”

“Believe it,” he says in mock-irritation (though some real irritation _is_ starting to creep in, now). “ _You_ were the one who said I got nicer.”

“ _Nicer_ doesn’t mean _nice_ ,” Lily counters, and he can’t help but feel like this conversation is entirely pointless, no matter how fun it is to keep going in circles. Still, unlike most pointless conversations, it’s one that he has no trouble wanting to continue.

“Fine,” he says, throwing up his hands. “You got me, this was all a long con on my part to string you along for months and finally break your heart. Because I am _such_ a sucker for punishment that I’d risk inviting the wrath of more people than I can count. Now are you staying or not?”

Lily stands up. He thinks she’s trying not to look him in the eye, but he’s not sure. “I don’t think I can today.”

He wants to ask why she’s refusing, but he reasons that if she was comfortable with telling him why, she would have told him already. “Okay. But are we ever doing this again, or was this a one-time offer only?” He knows how pathetically attached he might sound right now, and how it doesn’t fit his image at all… but truth be told, he can’t bring himself to care all that much. Lily Potter _is_ the first person he’s met in ages that he can actually stand, and beyond that, genuinely enjoys being around - and that’s a connection he doesn’t want to let go of.

She grins at him. “If you can find me, we can.” As she speaks, she moves out of his room to the small sitting-room, where her purse lies on the couch, and slings it over her shoulder. “I’ll be very disappointed in you if you can’t.”

 _Motherfucker, what is this treasure-hunt business she’s setting me up for?_ “So you’re expecting me to travel to Newcastle, enter every department of every university and ask them if they know a Lily Potter, huh?” That’s probably not it, but that _is_ what it sounds like. He quickly throws on his tank top, discarded to the side of the bed, and follows her out into the hall.

“There are easier ways to find me than that. If you’re observant enough, you’ll figure it out.” Her hand is on the doorknob by now, and she pauses to give him a quick hug. “Even if you aren’t - it was great seeing you today.” Before he can react, she’s outside the door, and in another minute or so, he hears the characteristic loud _crack_ of Disapparation.

 _Well then_. It’s close to midnight by now, and somehow, the day feels like it has been wonderful and disappointing at the same time. Derek can’t help but feel a little winded, considering how fast everything happened - but it did happen, and the memory will probably stay clear in his mind for a long time to come. He might never even see her again… he hopes that’s not the case, but knows that it most likely is. Lily isn’t the kind to stick with someone, at least not now that she seems to want to let go of most of her ties with the Wizarding world.

To his surprise, three days later, he finds a phone number written on his fogged-up bathroom mirror, and below it, the words “TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH :)”.


End file.
